Parenting at a Distance
Interesting ways to stay in touch and keep the lines of communication open.
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My ex-wife is pleased to help me stay in touch with our kids. I only had to send one set of hardware like scissors, stapler, staples, ruler, tape and glue. She actually helps our kids with the projects.
It hurts that I no longer get the opportunity to do things for my daughter. Assembling these activities gives me a sense of involvement. I even decorate the outside of the box.
My ex was being nasty when she handed my son his second activity box saying, "Well if it isn’t Jack-in-the-Box again." It worked out Okay because each time one comes, Jack, Jr. calls and says, "Thanks dad, I got my Jack-in-the-Box today."
I have never been good with my hands so a friend helps me put several projects together at once.
Seven months ago, I started sending an activity box each month. The first one took me a week to assemble. It got easier, then it even got to be fun meeting the challenges of the size of the package and my children’s level of ability. After the third box arrived, my ex called and asked who was putting this stuff together for me. It took a little doing to get her to believe I was doing them myself. These boxes have given my children and me something to talk about during my weekly calls.
I don't know if this will work or not but is the most positive action that is open to me.
I discovered so many problems with our present legal system during my divorce. Especially the child custody part of the process. After I lost my bid to be the primary caretaker of my children I spent all my time bemoaning the injustices I suffered. That was wasted time. In fact, doing so perpetuated the pain I felt and made them the injustices most important part of me. In order to change that, I bought this book and have dedicated myself to parenting my children no matter where they live. I love them and that is the most important part of me.
Our church sponsors a weekly support group for non-custodial parents. It was primarily a place you could go to share the problems you were having with the custodial parent. Lots of tears. I brought my Parenting at a Distance book to my third meeting. Now, during the second meeting each month, we build ‘activities in a box’ to send to our children. Each of us has something to offer in ideas, materials and skills. It gives us a place to be social with other parents in the same situation. No one cries on the second Tuesday of the month. These have definitely become the ‘feel good’ meetings.
I was pleased to see my daughter taking the time to do something this special for her children. I have taken photos of the children and their finished projects to send to their mother. It is a great start.
My ex and his new wife have really made an effort to keep in touch with the children and communicate with me in a very positive way. I see a much healthier future for our children if these efforts continue.
I was suspicious when the first package arrived and guarded as they continued to show up each month. Susan hasn’t missed a mailing in over a year now. At first I helped the children in order to keep and eye on what she was sending. Now it has become a bonding time for me with the children and we spend the time talking about what a great job their mom did. Five months ago we started sending her an email with jpg’s of the children doing and posing with the finished art works. I see a great deal of personal growth in Susan and our ability to talk has improved. I sincerely hope this positive interaction continues.
More than 800 triple columned pages.
Pale Horse Publishing
POB 1255, Livingston, TX 77351-0022
Since February 1992