This Is The Anything Dedication Acknowledgments Disclaimer Reviews and Praise Credentials vs Credibility  Chapter 1: War or Peace Questions and Answers Pray for Peace - Prepare for War Intended Audience Parenting Plan Where Do You Fit? Married - Unmarried Parents Whose Custody Case is this? Stepmother’s Story Best Interest Who Should Not Fight Reasons People Have Custody Worst Reasons to Fight Abuse Excuse Dead Hand Children as Pawns Factors Influencing Decisions Custody Arrangements Interim or Temporary Custody Sole Custody Joint Custody Physical and Legal Joint Physical Joint Legal Split Custody Alternating or Divided  Bird’s Nest Custody  Grandparent Custody  Suddenly Super Parent  Police and Restraining Orders  Life’s Time Line  Short Time Line  Non-Custodial Emotions Chapter 2: Issues - Non-Issues Their Problem or Yours Child Endangerment Opposition is a Control Freak Control and No Responsibility Blended Family Mental Illness Lengthy Child Care Verbal or Mental Abuse False Accusations Frequent Moves Physical Abuse Alcohol Use or Abuse Drug Use or Abuse They Only Want to Hurt Me Visitation Interference Lying to Child, You and Court Kidnapping Kidnapping Threat Domestic Violence Significant Other - Step-Parent Alternative Lifestyle Best Interest of the Child Neglect Poor Living Conditions Responsibility for Problems Your Expectations Common Child Custody Myths Chapter 3: You Are the Package State of Mind or Mindlessness Safety Nets Group I Need Doesn’t Exist Why Are You Here? New Relationships Invest in Yourself On the Hot Seat, So What? Unsolicited Help The Rescuer Emotional Vampires Thanks, But No Thanks Rest and Relaxation Aid to the Enemy Right Thinking It’s Your Battle Because Delegation Personal Security Bunker (Your Home) Maneuvers, Planned Action Retraining From Now On No Sniveling or Whining The Most Important Witness Dress for Custody Success What Do I Tell My People? Confidentiality - Witnesses I Need a Shrink Secret Help: Psychologist When the Police are Called You Can Get Arrested For Warrantless Search Why You Will Be Arrested If You Are Arrested Confidentiality - Inventories Parent as a Soldier Ask the Real Question Duck Muck The One I Feed A Need To Listen Proper Responses Talk, Your Friend Will Listen Real Victims Counterfeit Victims Victim Mentality Everything is My Fault Victim or Victor Internet Security and Privacy E-Mail Monitoring Hacking E-Mail Jail for Reading E-mail E-mail Security Computer Monitoring Your Computer Their Attorney    Chapter 4: Child's Perspective  Child and Parent Match Four Types of Attachment I Want to Stay with You Children Who Want to Choose Children Who Can’t Choose Choice Case Hearing the Child’s Voice Stepparents Significant Others Non Biological Caretaker Danger Psychological Parent Go Where they are Heard Child’s Realities Dealing with Child's Fears What You Can Do To Help Discipline Not What I Meant to Say Styles of Parental Discipline You Are Always On My Mind Document Now For Later Children Stir Things Up Unhappy Children Children’s Responsibilities Info Children Should Know Walk the Talk Help Children Be Responsible Seeing Abuse is Abuse Buying the Pain Away Too Much Hurt... Accidentally Such Behavior is Bad Parenting Interviewing Children Confidentiality - Children Confidentiality - Spouse Revenge Letter of Adjustment  Chapter 5: PAS  Parental Alienation Syndrome Hostility in Child Custody What’s Not PAS PAS Is Actual Alienating Person False Accusations Unconscious Messages Conscious Messages Parent is a Chameleon Combating PAS Action May Proceed for PAS PAS Excluded D.H.S.S. Report on PAS Healing the PAS Child Malicious Mother Syndrome False Accusations SAID Syndrome Narcissistic  Chapter 6: Smoking  For Smokers Second-Hand Smoke Is Child Still Exposed Children’s Surgery Parental Smoking - Child's IQ Smoking and Autism Sperm Trouble for Future And Mothers Court’s Reaction Passive Smoke Make Them Stop Cases Chapter 7: Religion  Value to the Individual Children Separation of Church - State Christian Jewish Intra-Faith Challenges Cases Jehovah's Witnesses Wiccan Chapter 8: Breastfeeding  Mother’s Fears Father’s Fears Benefits Pump and Go Breast Milk Shelf Life Primary Caretaker Chapter 9: Homeschooling  An International Movement Schedule and Methods In Custody Cases Qualified to Homeschool Pro Homeschooling Assembling Advocates Proving a Pro Position Against Homeschooling Parent’s Fears Assembling Advocates Proving a Con Position Example of Termination Chapter 10: Grandparent or Kinship Care Heartbreaking Civil War Guilt In Abundance Family #1 Family #2 Family #3 Family #4 Family #5 Grandparents on the Front Line Videotapes  Rights - Responsibilities  Federal Laws Families as Resource #1 A Long Tradition Stepparent Adoption Co-Guardianship Case #1 Case #2 Appointment of Guardian Standby Guardianship Getting Started Example Form Cases Grandparents v Father  Chapter 11: Job - Custody Connection  Running on Empty Stability - Reliability Work From Home Cost to the Company Co-Workers Negative Impact Supervisors Enabling Behaviors The Supervisor Must The Supervisor Can’t Violence in the Workplace 2003 Incidents Crisis Situations Explain Your Crisis Confidentiality - Employment Your Personal Information Employee Evaluation Lost Jobs Jobs Not Taken Back-Up Plan Chapter 12: Strategies  Reality Check Well, Get Over It Desire vs Reality Looking Past 2005 Changes in the Wind Strategic Interaction Strategy = Planning Deliberate, Rational Enemy Specific Techniques Live and Let Live Tit For Tat Look Ahead Tester Tranquilizer Exploitative Retaliation Attrition Deterrence Reciprocity Random Agendas Your Motives Changing Strategies Defensive Behaviors Remedies for Behaviors Delay Strategic Case Boosters Activities to Cultivate Chapter 13: Conflict Resolution Problems They Cause Problem Solving Why They Do That Pre-Contact Planning Negotiation Why Cooperate? Opposition Will Cooperate? Reduce Differences Aim to Negotiate, Not to Win Overcoming Obstacles If You Have to Fight Discover Hidden Agendas Children’s Agenda Children Have Agendas Conflict Methods of Thinking Moral Obligation Changing Strategies Mediator with Attorneys Not Really the Same Using a Professional Mediators Court Facilitated Attorneys Three Reasons to Negotiate Right Place - Time to Negotiate Preparation Assumptions Guidelines for Discussion How to Negotiate Chapter 14: Friend or Enemy?  Make Words Work for You It's Your Army; Censor It Loose Lips Sink Ships Security Breach If You Disregard This Advice Fear and Communication Communication Test Dealing with Fear News Flash Junkies Safe Answers Friendly Fire People Who Cause Damage Important to Ponder Family In-laws and Outlaws Your Parents Opposition's Parents The Agendas of Your Friends Friendly Strangers Know Your Enemy Data Sheet Noncombatants  Data Sheet Form Information and Misinformation Source of Information Sabotage 6 Year Case Study Case Killers List of Activities to Avoid Hurt You Worse Than Them Anger and Joy You’ve Been In Court Too Long  Chapter 15: Documentation - Evidence Contact Logs Reasons for Documentation Detective Attorney Evaluator Guardian ad Litem Telephone Log Methods of Documentation Telephone Contact Log Admissible Evidence Backdooring Evidence Exclusion of Evidence Web Sites as Evidence Off Line Web Sites Live On Chain of Evidence Spoliation of Evidence Spoliation = Judgment? Take Photos of Everything Children Love Em’ The Dark Side Evidence - No One Cares Chapter 16: Contact Log  Is It Worth Doing? Simplicity and Speed Confidentiality - Documentation Crucial Data to Record Codes for Log Book Contact Log 1991-2004 Chapter 17: Equipment - Services  Equipment Cell Phone Video Clips Recording Phone Calls Interspousal Wiretap Exception Invasion of Privacy Services Daycare Workers Parent Locator Service Testing Services Lie Detector Test Paternity Testing DNA - Genetic Testing Court Ordered Gathering DNA Samples Necessary for DNA Testing Challenges to DNA Testing Negative Test - Still Father Paternity May Be Settled Contesting Paternity Can't Sue Wife for Lying Computer Data Retrieval